whats on my heart and mind

Hey guys, it's me, but who am I? I am someone that has fallen so deep in life that I can't see the light that is shining so bright trying to show me the way out, or the people that are trying to help me back up to the top to stand on my feet. But for now I go by Marissa till my card is pulled and I get to leave this world and go to a new one where ever that may be. I am moving out this year and starting my own story apart from my dad’s and the rest of my families. It’s going to be my own and I will live it my way the way I want to not how anyone else wants me to live it. I am going to attend Truett McConnell this fall, and get my degree either in children’s psychology or early childhood education. I love going out on the limb to try new things and to get what I want. I don't regret anything I have done or will do because when I was doing it, it was exactly what I wanted to do. I live my life in the now and try to forget the things that have hurt me the most. Even though I can’t let go of something I try my hardest to not let it get me down. I want to one day not remember anything from my own childhood so I can live in peace. I love all people no matter what and don't judge anyone by their looks or actions. I look to the heart of the person because that’s where it's all lays at. I don't wear my heart on my sleeve but it not far from it my heart sits right on my shoulder for me to protect. I am quick to hide my emotions from everyone, sometimes you’ll get me off guard and you’ll see how I really feel. But it’s not often that you see how I am truly feeling or thinking. But one day my walls I have so carefully built up will come crashing down and I will let everyone in and not hide from anyone or anything. But till that day come this is what you get, a whole hearted care person that is afraid to let anyone in for fear that I will get hurt and not be able to pick myself up and clean the wounds that are so deep in my soul. I am still cleaning the ones that have been there for years, I can see the new skin coming through and beginning of a new relationship with the ones that caused the wounds I am still fighting and cleaning up. For now all I have left to say is goodnight and good day.
Marissa